Navigating Emotional Outbursts – PART 2

In last week’s article, we discussed emotional development in children and how it actually works. We also briefly outlined its importance and how children develop emotionally.  The big question is, how can we, as parents and educators, best support our children’s/student’s emotional development? How can we help our children to identify how they’re feeling? To help them regulate their emotions, better understand and manage them appropriately? Beyond the Classroom asked Joanne Del Core, a local Emotional Intelligence Strategist, about her thoughts and we are thrilled to be able to share them here.

Two kids hugging

“What we’re really talking about here is prevention and education in an area of child development that has been under-utilized and overlooked for way too long,” says Joanne. Joanne also points out that, thanks to the work of some psychologists and counselors, topics like emotional development and empathy are being moved to the forefront of research.

What actually motivates our actions? What is our behaviour really shaped by? The Human Needs Psychology, also known as The Six Human Needs, is the original work of world famous life coach Tony Robbins and highly respected psychologist Cloe Madanes. They consulted over 3 million people to identify these 6 needs required for human “survival” and to fulfill people at their “core”. Joanne points out that the model identifies needs, and not desires, and that although the model was originally intended for adults, “it is equally powerful for children as (she) (has) seen in her work”.

What are The 6 Human Needs?

  1. Certainty – the need for stability, safety and comfort
  2. Variety – the need for stimulus and change, both physically and mentally
  3. Significance – the need to feel special and worthy of attention (not to be confused with neediness!)
  4. Connection and Love – the need to feel connected and that you belong
  5. Growth – the need to learn and expand your abilities (considered a spiritual need, so you wouldn’t notice it in children until adolescence/young adulthood)
  6. Contribution – the need to give to others without expecting anything in return (considered a spiritual need, so you wouldn’t notice in children until adolescence/young adulthood)

According to Tony Robbins, “the first step in changing any situation is to understand how that situation meets the six human needs.” Joanne Del Core also uses this powerful model in her practice as a way to understand why children behave the way they do.

Two kids

In Joanne’s work with over 300 children, she has found that between the ages of birth and 5/6 years, children require two very specific needs including CERTAINTY and SIGNIFICANCE. In next week’s article, we will look at some tools for improving these needs at home.

 

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